Not all my marriage proposals have been denominated in cows, however. The time where I went to stay on the South Sudan/Uganda/DRC border (where these gems of hotel rules and regulations can be found), is one of those times.

Before dinner, I decided to take a stroll with my colleagues through Kaya town. One of my colleagues spotted a jacket that he liked and proceeded to ask the Ugandan tradesman about its price. They were having a conversation in Luganda whilst I held back and admired the rest of his clothing collection i his stall.

Suddenly my colleague turned to English and said;

No I will not trade her for a 60 SSP jacket

Apparently during the haggling process, the trader tried to slip to my colleague that he would very well accept me as a payment for the jacket, instead of the 20 USD he was requesting. He felt that if keeping to a language I could not understand, he would be able to persuade my colleague that this was indeed a worthwhile deal.

Thankfully my colleague did not think this was the case.

I personally was slightly taken aback as lets be honest, to be equated to a 20 USD jacket is not exactly flattering.

So me being me, I decided to give him a piece of my own mind and inform him that there was in fact a man in Lanyia willing to part with 344 cows for me and who did he think he was thinking he could trade me in for a jacket.

Retrospectively, I’m not sure whether this mini outburst made my value go up or down in his mind. Judging by the look on his face, however, I think he definitely felt he had dodged a bullet.

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